Why are you depressed?

Maybe writing them down will help.
Four months ago I wrote a list, it seems that the list has extended and things have gotten a lot worse.
I'll number them, and they aren't organized in any specific order.

1. I miss school. Summer is boring and I don't see anyone because of reason number two.

2. John. My retarded stepdad who thinks I don't deserve anything but to be locked up in my room with nothing.

3. The only two people I know that haven't hurt me are teachers.

4. I miss my dad and my brothers. My dad is so nice, my little brother worships me (he's five) and even my big brother can be cool sometimes.

5. I'm stuck. Even if I wanted to live with my dad, my stepmom is equally as horrible as my stepdad.

6. I've had to leave everyone that I've ever loved. Everytime I've gotten attached, made best friends, and been happy, i moved and left them behind.

7. I probably won't graduate at west. I'll probably leave again, now that I'm attached and settled.

8. Every night at my house ends in an argument. Wether or not it's my stepdad and I or my mom and stepdad.

9. I never do get to see the friends that I have. I live miles away from them.

10. I'm not eighteen. I want to be free.

11. I feel older than I really am.

12. I feel alone, like few people really care.

13. I'm always grounded. My parents treat me like a screw up. It feels like I can't to anything right.

14. I have all of these dreams, and I'm afraid that I'll fail and neve accomplish any of them.

15. I just want to live, but I feel like i'm dying.

This list is almost triple the size that it was four months ago. I read that email Mrs.Brooks sent me when things get really bad. Killing myself seems like the only solution. I didn't feel like this last week, I don't know what happened.
But I know that killing myself is a permanent solution to my temporary problems.
Maybe everything will get better. I don't know what I'm gonna do if they don't.