Interesting how everything can change in just 5 months.

I'm no longer depressed.
I'm proud to say I've overcome that ridiculous session in my life. I haven't cut myself since sometime in august. Mrs. Brooks called me out on it and I quit completely after that.
Mrs. Brooks doesnt really talk to me anymore. She must be busy with her kids and her new school.
I don't know what happened but something just clicked inside of me and I now have the thirst to live. I started school again and fell back into my normal state: awesome. Except this time I was better than before. I was kind of fighting to stay happy in September but I felt pretty good after that.
One thing that changed things for me was my art teacher Mr. Lyons. He gave this speech about how much better things could be if we were nice to eachother and how much of an impact we could have by doing positive things. He talked for an hour and I was completely mesmerized and inspired. For the first two weeks after that I was nothing but nice to everyone I met but I feel myself slipping back into my old ways.
I think it will be my new years resolution to change for good.
By the way, I see Mr. Lyons as my hero now. I do plan to be just like him when I grow older and I hope to be like him attitude wise now.
Just thought I'd update this silly blog to announce my recovery and what not.
Stay positive all.

What is happening.

Why am i stupid? I wished. and wished. and wished. and now i'm panicking, because you asked me out for dinner? that's a strange offer but i guess what do you do in the evening.
Just the two of us?
Mmm. straaaaaaange.
I think i'll do it.
I'll ask my mom for some money.
And we'll go out to dinner.
Why not?
:s

I miss you.

Why do i miss you all the time?
It's not fair.
Every day at 11:11am/pm i wish that you would send me an email asking to see me.
oddly enough if i do it enough times in a row it works!
I wish you would email me.
I think that you're the best person in my life, even if you aren't staying in my life.
I'm afraid that school will start and you won't talk to me anymore.
If you dissapear i don't know what i'll do.
I miss you because you listen to what i have to say when nobody else will.
I miss you because you never fail to make me smile.
I miss you because you are the only one that lifts me up when i'm on rock bottom.
I miss you because you get concerned if i post awful things on facebook.
I miss you because you are the only flawless adult i know.
I miss you because you have yet to crush me like everyone else has.
I miss you because you have the wildest most adorable children that also never fail to make me smile.
I miss you because you would care if i killed myself.
I miss you because you are the only one that has convinced me that maybe things will be okay.
I miss you because you accually care.
I just miss you okay.
So could you email me?
Even though i'm talking to nobody i hope that you know somehow just how much i miss you.
I'm so pathetic.

I'm so mad.

I can't find my exacto knife.
I thought it was in one of the boxes but my mom said she packed it elsewhere.
I really want to cut myself but I can't do it without my exacto knife.
And I accually want to build something out of my cans. Mrs.Brooks son is turning 3 so I decided I want to make a car out of the cans for him.
Sounds difficult but I'm going to attempt it when I can find the damn thing.
I want it back. :c

Moving sucks.

And so do my parents.
They're making me do most of the work.
Including bringing numerous heavy boxes up and down the stairs. I've been up and down those stairs at least fifty times in the past three days.
My stepdad told me today that "Good thing you're not my kid, cause i'd smack you in the mouth."
Wow, you're too kind.
I hope he dies a slow and painful death.
:3

My wish.

I hope that tomorrow will happen.
I've got to ask my mom, and make sure it's still on with the person.
Beause I would reeealllyyy love to go to her house.
Please Jesus?
If you're out there, just give me this.
That's all I ask.

Why do I love blaring music?

I especially love it through my headphones.
It's because I can ESCAPE. There is no better feeling than being able to 100% block people out.
If I could leave my headphones in all day everyday, I would.